July 24th, 2010

Guess who got himself in trouble with his phone again…(NSFW language warning)

BFFs, if you are craving more of the Biebs you’re in store for another side of the 16-year-old pop star. He’s just landed an acting gig on CSI and he’ll be on for more than one episode!

What can’t Justin Bieber do? The mini-Justin Timberlake is set to guest-star in the season premiere of the hit CBS drama, CSI, on Sept. 23!

“Justin will play a troubled teen who is faced with a terrible decision regarding his only brother — a decision that leads him into an explosive confrontation with the CSIs. It’s the beginning of an emotional story that will conclude later in the season,” says a rep for CBS.

We are bursting with excitement! We already knew Justin had mad acting skills when he did skits with Tina Fey on SNL, April 10, but we can’t wait to watch our little Bieber try a super serious role! Even though JB is in the middle of his My World 2.0 tour he took time to tweet about his CSI debut, July 22! “Morning world … we got the acting coach here … learning a new craft.”

We aren’t the only ones with Bieber fever, CBS is gushing over Justin! “Every 20 years, a phenomenon like Justin Bieber graces our world,” says the network’s execs Carol Mendelsohn, Don McGill and Anthony Zuiker. “We’d like to believe that the phenomenon of CSI has had the same impact on popular culture. The opportunity to bring them together in the premiere is a great treat for our audience and all of it’s new viewers. This will be true event television.”

Better set your DVRs because you’re not going to want to miss this next Bieber move!

First up, a sorry dispatch from the Great Celebrity Adipose Wars – a conflict that finally has its Hutton report. Once again, the BBC has issued a humiliating apology for its output, although this time the beneficiary is not Alastair Campbell but Eamonn Holmes. The main thing is, the good guys are still winning.

As one of the key pieces in the Lost in Showbiz Summer Collection, Eamonn Holmes matters. I mean really matters – like celebrity lesbians and small fluctuations in the Singapore tea markets. His pain is our pain – so imagine our relief to learn that the Sky breakfast presenter had taken the sensible course of action after being teased on Jon Culshaw’s The Impressions Show. To wit, he called in his lawyers.

Eamonn, it seemed, was not amused by a recurring sketch on the programme, which saw him portrayed as a television presenter given to eating everything in sight, only for his long-suffering producer to wonder where key items have got to. Everything from a sofa to studio guest Frankie Dettori vanished down the Holmes gullet, before Culshaw-as-Eamonn would deploy a variation of the catchphrase, “I was fierce hungry, so I was.”

I need hardly tell you that the United Nations dithered over the appropriate course of action to take over this flagrant breach of international law, with that gutless talking shop reduced to bleating that poking fun at Eamonn Holmes wasn’t technically in breach of the Geneva Convention. You’ve got lard on your hands, Ban Ki-Moon. Lard on your hands.

Happily, Eamonn was more bullish, and to this end instructed his lawyers to fire off a legal letter to the BBC. On what grounds, you might ask? As a source close to Eamonn told reporters: “It was the fact that it wasn’t just one sketch, there were several, and they repeated the same joke over and over again.”

Well. You might have spotted that Eamonn’s pal has provided a useful description of what is known as “a running gag” and “a catchphrase” (stop me if this is getting too comedically technical), upon which almost all sketch shows are hugely reliant. So you’d assume the Beeb immediately realised that despite the ludicrousness of the spat, there was a serious principle at stake here, and gave the letter short shrift.

Prepare for disappointment. Instead of dismissing the letter, the BBC – and I can scarcely believe I am typing these words – has issued Eamonn Holmes with not simply a public apology, but a guarantee that the character will be dropped for future shows.

Attempts to establish from the Corporation on what legal grounds they set this preposterous and dangerous precedent have proved fruitless. In fact, the idiocy is exacerbated by the fact that the sketches in question are so innocuous. The Impression Show is miles away from vicious, and I defy you to view them on YouTube and judge that they are anything other than gentle, surreal teasing.

Of course, we know Eamonn is sensitive about his weight, because he recently informed the public of that fact during an interview. (Not the two-part wedding special he flogged to Hello! magazine for a hefty sum; another one.) “It’s because I’m a man,” he explained. “Women have it much easier . . . No one would ever say, ‘Oh you’re fair piling on the beef there’ or ‘That’s some ass you’ve got on you.’” Mmm. It’s too much to hope that Eamonn was striking a blow for irony in choosing to make these very comments to the Daily Mail, who scarcely observe anything else of the women they parade through their pages, only occasionally leavening the mix by observing that some female is now “too thin”.

But if Eamonn has such a powerful aversion to running jokes, perhaps he could spare us the thrice-weekly spectacle of his excruciatingly unfunny attempts to tease Sky News sports presenter Jacquie Beltrao – whom he persists in referring to as “Jacqueline”, presumably in the belief that it is one of his amusing quirks – or making smug comments to camera whenever Manchester United win.

Or does that sort of repetitive tedium count as banter in Eamonn’s intriguing moral universe? In order to settle the argument, perhaps next time United win, a group of the opposing side’s fans should launch a class action against him claiming mental torture. Because as Eamonn well knows, we can all be a good sport about a gag once or twice, but it’s the cumulative effect of listening to him “repeat the same joke over and over again”, in the words of that chum of his, that leaves the scars.

In the end, though, we can hardly blame the old poltroon for trying it on via his lawyer over the Culshaw fiasco. Asking Eamonn not to act like a plonker is about as pointless as arguing against gravity. But in the name of sanity, can’t we expect the BBC not to cave in and compromise past and future editorial content just because – and forgive the legalese – some prat off Sky can’t take a joke?

Given that this sorry affair has yet to be fitted with its obligatory -gate suffix, I would move for Bloatergate. Yet this is hardly ringing up a so-called national treasure and claiming you had sex with his granddaughter. Come to that, it isn’t even ringing up Eamonn and asking if he’s eaten your granddaughter, and the BBC’s hideously craven reaction is genuinely depressing.

“The breaking of so great a thing should make a greater crack.” Thus ran Caesar’s words on Marc Antony’s death – but O, how easily they could be applied to news that Lindsay Lohan has begun her jail sentence.

Yes, Lohan is in lockdown, and though the star is currently expected to serve an interminable nine days inside, there is no harm in keeping our spirits up by looking ahead to her next move.

And so to the most predictable of developments. Back when Lindsay was sentenced, you might recall that Lost in Showbiz chanced to mention the Paris Hilton Playhouse, the project a contrite-acting Paris Hilton promised to establish on her emergence from the same jail in which Lindsay now languishes. The Playhouse was to be a place where sick children would come to enjoy toys and clothes donated by the celebutante and her friends – and is about as close to being made reality as the halfway house for former jailmates Paris also pledged to build. Which is to say, not close at all.

The good news is that Lindsay has not been deterred from considering similar commitments. “Lindsay actually wants to open up her own rehab centre here ,” her mother tells a US magazine, “and a couple across the country to help other kids and celebs so they don’t fall through the cracks in this town. She mentioned it to me a couple of days ago. She’s really growing up.”

So there we have it – the Lindsay Lohan clinic chain, which I imagine would be called something inspirational such as Beginnings or Whatevahs. Things may look bleak just now, but please don’t claim you have nothing to look forward to.

Hmm, it would explain the quickie wedding!

Sources close to Miranda Kerr are reporting that her wedding to Orlando Bloom may have been rushed because the model is three months pregnant.

They even say that Miranda has already told her family, friends, and business associates that she is expecting.

Earlier this month, Miranda had said:

“I have always been very open about wanting to be a mother one day. And I’ve always thought Orlando would be a great dad. I’ve always wanted kids, so someday, eventually, yes, it will happen. My ideal situation would be to live on a farm in a solar-powered house with a hammock and a vegetable patch. When this is all over, that’s where I’ll be.”

That hammock and vegetable patch may come sooner than she thinks!

Although Natalie Portman studied ballet as a child, she “had always hoped to do a dance film. It’s the most emotional form of expression,” the actress dished to USA Today. Now she’s the star of the upcoming ballet slash psychological thriller Black Swan, due out this fall. And although she’s been involved with the project for nearly a decade with director Darren Aronofsky, she only brought in her favorite designers, the Mulleavy sisters behind Rodarte, to design the ballet costumes more recently.

Portman plays Nina, a ballerina chosen is the lead in a N.Y.C production of Swan Lake. Also starring in the flick is Mila Kunis, who plays a rival dancer. We’re loving the dark yet glam choices Rodarte made for Portman’s stage costume. Check out more photos from the film in the gallery, and then tell us what you think in the comments section below.

Two weeks after he was spotted with Rachel Uchitel … Michael Lohan posed with another Tiger Woods mistress, Joslyn James (right), and Gina Rodriguez, an alleged mistress of David Boreanaz. Michael claims Kate Major’s jealousy over his alleged TV deal with Joslyn and Rachel fueled the fight which got him charged with 2nd degree harassment.

Angelina Jolie will do a lot more than kick spy butt in the action thriller ‘Salt.’ According to Deborah Dunham at Stylelist, she might also kick-off some new styles.

Jolie plays CIA officer Evelyn Salt, who is on the run after being accused of spying and plotting to kill the president. The film, playing in theaters now, has received some seriously positive reviews.

Dunham explains that Jolie goes from a beautiful blonde with a low-slung braided ponytail to a raven-haired brunette who looks like she could be the next femme fatale.

As much as we’d like to believe the plot, where Jolie drastically changes her hairstyle and color herself, celebrity hairstylist Ken Paves gave StyleList the real scoop on how this was most likely done.

“I have designed looks for film, and it is standard and far more forgiving on the actress’s hair to use extensions and wigs when creating contrasting looks in one film,” said Paves. “The allure of a true movie star is the ability to let go of her personal identity when she becomes her character, surrendering to this character. Jolie was able to do this in ‘Salt,’ and she is amazing!”

And while both looks are gorgeous (how could anything not be on this Hollywood beauty?), each represents a dramatically different identity that leaves us guessing which one is the real Evelyn Salt. “The point of the two looks is to illustrate a dramatic visual contrast between the two sides of her character to better help the moviegoer separate and accept these two sides,” said Paves.

“Obviously, the darker style suggests a dramatic villainess with heavy color and severe architectural lines,” Paves added. “The blonde shade, as well as lighter clothing, are merely for dramatic contrast. However, the shorter length, slightly layered, less heavy cut seems more natural and less ’super powers.’ I imagine in the movie we will learn that may not be the case.”

If you’re inspired to add some flavor to your look, here are Paves’ suggestions on how to get Jolie’s “salty” strands:

Brute Brunette:
“The amazing thing Angelina shows us here is how you can wear different looks as long as you “own” them,” Paves said. “This look feels very exotic or European to me.”

Paves said this style works great with many hair types, although curly hair will require pressing and fine hair will require extensions. However if you have thick, shiny, straight hair like this, you’re in luck.

The dramatic bangs work for anyone wanting to bring attention to their eyes, according to Paves.

“A severe straight bang may not be ideal for someone with a round face, however it could be adjusted to suit any face shape. Because of the color, I would stay away from this exact look if you are 50 or older, unless it was considerably shorter.”

James Bond Blonde:
Paves said this look is incredibly versatile and can be worn by any face shape because of the side fringe. The layering around the face also suits any face shape and the color works with many complexions. But because it’s more of an ash blonde, Paves recommended that women with golden skin tones avoid this exact shade.

“Luckily today, inspired by the ever-evolving celebrity looks, we have made it very easy and affordable to achieve the looks you have always wanted with extensions and wigs,” said Paves.

And while these styles look great on the big screen, it’s important to look at them as inspiration and then tailor them to real life. Paves recommends finding a style that is intended for your texture and won’t take a lot of time to style. Then adjust the color to suit your skin tone and the layers to enhance the features you love most about your face.

“Don’t compare yourself too much to the photos of Angelina or any other celeb,” Paves added. “Its ‘you,’ just inspired by their look. Make it your own and wear it with great confidence!”

Cameron Diaz had a leg up at the French premiere of ‘Knight and Day‘ on Friday. Diaz, in stilettos and a belted dress that exposed the tan line at the top of her thigh, was all smiles and towered over costar Tom Cruise, who appeared to have lost a few inches since the London premiere.

We’re down to the final four of our Hottest Bikini Body Bracket! The last round was especially close, but Jennifer Aniston, Brooklyn Decker, Jessica Alba, and Katy Perry made it through. Now it’s time to take it down to two! For the month of July, we’re narrowing 64 finalists down to number one in a competition of who has the hottest celebrity bikini body. All you have to do now is place your picks, and we’ll be posting updates on the action. Here’s the best part — one lucky voter will also win a brand-new iPhone 4! You will be entered for each round you complete, so the more rounds you play, the more chances you have to win. Remember, you must be logged in to be entered. See the official rules and start voting now!